Feelings
by aintthteren
Summary: What happens when Eren realizes his feelings for Mikasa? What will he do? Will he tell her how he feels?


_Hey guys! :D im here again to write another fic since no one else would kdfjbgdfjk and I also been told a few times to write it. Even though I know im not a good writer but whatever I might as well write it just for fun. _

_Its the scene in where mikasa and eren are alone in the room in episode 25. as a erenmika shipper that scene was gold for me and I loved it so much. So if you haven't watched the episode I wouldn't read it cause spoilers._

_I hope you guys like it, tell me if I did good or whatever, im new at writing and I make a lot of grammar mistakes because I just write for fun and stuff._

_***I DO NO OWN SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN***_

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Armin and Jean had just left the room, and now Mikasa and Eren were left alone. Mikasa was silent because the atmosphere in the room was rather odd to her or maybe it was just her over thinking things.

She wanted to tell Eren so many things. She wanted to talk to him, tell him that shes glad his here with her. But all she could do was stare at him from the corner of her eye. Eren didn't seem to notice her staring. He seemed to be lost in deep thought. When Mikasa was about to say something Eren spoke.

"It felt good at the time you know..."

Mikasa was shocked, she knew where this was going. she knew Eren well enough to know what he was gonna say next, and she was right and because she was right fear started to take over her whole body.

"it even felt good to get all beat up...I thought I wouldn't even mind dying..."

Mikasa wanted to hit him, how can he say that, she thought. She also wanted to hug him and hold him close to her, she wanted to do so much and tell him so much but all she managed was

"Eren!" She yelled in desperation

This outburst of hers seemed to take Eren aback or rather make him snap out of his deep thought. If Mikasa didn't know any better, she would have sworn that Eren was not talking to her at all but rather just to himself, because when she said his name his eyes became wide open as if he just realized she was there.

Eren stared at Mikasa but it wasn't just a stare it was a deep piercing stare that would make anyone shut up for sometime. and Mikasa felt a little tingle in her stomach, she didn't know why she got this feeling but she ignored it because all she could thing of was Eren giving up, the boy that saved her life the boy that said to never give up and keep fighting no matter what had just said that he wouldn't mind dying and Mikasa couldn't help but get sad. Eren seemed to pick up on this and he quickly but gently said

"That isn't how I feel now."

Mikasa couldn't take it anymore she had to feel Eren was here in this room with her, she had to touch him, she had to make sure that he was real.

She quickly grabbed his hand and with her free hand she put it on top of his hand. Both Mikasas hands where on Erens hand.

His hand sat gently in both her hands. She took note how his hands where rough and muscular but also very soft and she wondered how his hands would feel on her. She quickly dismissed that thought. She also realized that Eren hadn't pushed her away, he hadn't got angry that she was holding his hand. Because normally he would have said something like _dont treat me like a kid _or _im not your baby brother dont treat me like I am. _And so Mikasa wasn't gonna let this moment go to waste. She had to tell Eren how she felt.

She gave his hand a little squeeze.

"I'm glad that you came back..."

That's all Mikasa managed to say, she wanted to say so much more, she wanted to yell at him for being so reckless and almost dying yet again, but she couldn't. She was just so glad and happy that Eren was here with her, that he was allowing her to hold his hand.

Eren was staring at Mikasa even more intensely than before. He took notice how Mikasa was grabbing his hand and he wanted to tell her to put her head up, he didn't like that Mikasa had her head down as if he was some kind of king and she was worth nothing.

Mikasa felt his green orbs staring at her. Even thought her head was facing down she could feel his intense stare.

"Look at me Mikasa" Eren said with a bit of caution in his voice

Mikasa took her time putting her head up because she was holding back tears, that the only reason she put down her head, because she didn't want Eren to see her eyes glister. She manged to hold back the tears and when she looked up at him she had her no emotion face back on. And when she met his glare she felt that tingle again in her stomach but yet again she ignored it.

Eren noticed her eyes were a bit watery even though her face had no emotion her eyes said otherwise. And it hit him that Mikasa wanted to cry but she was holding back the tears. and Eren felt really bad. Maybe it was something he said he thought. But why was she holding them back she always cried when they were kids. But still she never had shame in crying in front of him. She would always come to him and cry and he would hold her, he would tell her its okay, he would comfort her.

Before Mikasa knew it she was being pulled and then she felt it, she felt his strong arms wrap around her, she felt his breath on her forehead, she felt his chest, she felt every part of him. She was on his lap. Mikasa didn't even have time to see how he managed to pull her up from her chair, she knew Eren was not this strong, maybe it was his titan power? she thought. But she didn't care about that so much because she was trying really hard not to turn red.

Eren didn't know why he did this. He just knew he had to make Mikasa feel better, he just wanted to make sure Mikasa was safe and that safe place is in his arms. They always did this as kids, she was sit on his lap and her head would lay on his shoulder as he had both his arms wrapped around her, keeping her warm and safe.

But this time Eren felt different. He had this weird sensation in his stomach, he couldn't put his finger on it because he didn't understand it, he thought maybe it was because he was hungry. And he couldn't ignore that Mikasa wasn't a kid anymore because she was a bit heavy but nothing Eren couldn't handle.

And then it hit him, they weren't kids anymore, this was a totally different situation. What if someone walked in and saw them like this? Mikasa was on his lap with her hands around his waist, and his hands were wrapped around her as well. What would they think? Eren's mind started to question his affection towards Mikasa but he knew it wasn't anything romantic or so he thought.

Mikasa started to move a bit, to get more comfortable in his lap, she felt Eren stiffen a bit.

she didn't know what Eren was thinking or why he did this but she didn't question it, for the first time in a long time Eren was showing affection.

Eren spoke in a quiet but nervous tone

"h-hey Mikasa...maybe you should get off me and just sit next to me? What if someone walks in and sees you in my lap? What would they think you know? Haha, so how about you just sit next to me"

Eren was nervous and he didn't know why, Mikasa was family after all, but then again his the one that always said they really weren't. They just grew up together right?

Mikasa sighed at Erens request but did as he said.

"No one would have came in Eren, everyones to busy helping to take care of the injured people." Mikasa said

"H-how many injured people were there? How many deaths?" Eren feared what Mikasa would say

Mikasa stayed quite for a bit but soon after spoke up

"123 injured, and only 13 deaths" Mikasa lied

Eren was relived to hear not that many were killed but still it hurt him to know that he probably was the one to kill 13 people.

"that's...good to hear"

Mikasa saw that Eren was shaking a bit, she hated to see Eren like this, he always blamed himself for everything, just because his a titan.

"It's not your fault Eren"

Eren turned his head to face her.

Mikasa realized they were a bit to close, because she could feel his breath on her lips.

"It is my fault Mikasa, everything is always my fault, we didn't capture annie because of me, we failed to go to my stupid basement because of me, levi's squad died because of me, I almost killed you and it was because of me, its always me Mikasa im always ruining things"

Mikasa didn't say anything because what could she say, even if she said it wasn't his fault he would continue to blame himself. The only thing she did tell him was

"you didn't try to kill me Eren, you were just..." Mikasa found herself at loss of words

Eren knew it hurt Mikasa he knew that she didn't understand why Eren tried to kill her because he didn't understand it himself. He would never hurt Mikasa but yet he almost killed her. And he couldn't bare the thought. All he wants to do in his life is make sure Mikasa is safe along with his best friend Armin of course.

Eren decided to change the topic. But before he could speak up Mikasa grabbed his hand once again and this time Eren jumped as if he had never touched Mikasa before, he stared at her, his head was spinning, he didn't understand why this was happening to him right now. Why was his stomach feeling weird at Mikasas touch, he wanted to punch himself in the face.

"Eren I know I haven't said anything to you about this but..." Mikasa stopped talking because what she was going to say next was going to pain her.

"I know...you like annie and thats why-" she was cut of once again but this time it was Eren who spoke

"Wait what? You think I like annie?" Eren was shocked to hear this, how can Mikasa think that.

"Isn't that why you couldn't fight her? Because you liked her right? Your feeling for her were getting in the way"

Eren wanted to laugh but he couldn't because Mikasa looked genuinely hurt and Eren couldn't understand why.

"No, you got it all wrong Mikasa, I didn't want to fight Annie because shes my friend, I respect her way to much. Shes so strong Mikasa and she was going to teach me how to become stronger, she was going to train me, and then everything comes crashing down on me, you guys say shes the female titan and we have to capture her. I didn't know how to take it, it was just to big of a shock for me, thats all"

Mikasa felt a bit relived but she still didn't believe Eren because she felt as if Eren did have feeling for Annie but now that she was the female titan he knew it would never happen.

Eren noticed Mikasa was deep in thought.

She looked so beautiful he thought. He always thought Mikasa was beautiful though, since the day he saved her. He had always said that she had such pretty hair. When he was a kid he always played with her hair. But right now with the wind blowing in softly it made her hair look much more beautiful. And the sun light barely touching her face gave her such a gentle look that Eren felt himself starting to feel hot.

Eren had this urge to just hug Mikasa again, to just put her on his lap again.

Eren was brought back to earth when Mikasa put her hand on his cheek. Apparently Mikasa was telling Eren something but Eren had spaced out. Eren stared at Mikasa, and not just a stare, it was a stare full of lust and wanting. And Eren didn't know where it was coming from.

Mikasa stared into Erens eyes. He was looking at her so intensively, Mikasa felt red, she didn't know why Eren had that look in his eyes. Mikasa didn't understand what it meant but she knew one thing, it made her blush and she felt herself blushing bright red so she quickly turned away, she didn't want Eren to see her blush. What would Eren think if he saw her blush Mikasa thought.

As she turned around she was stopped by a hand on her shoulder.

When the hand turned her around she saw Eren. Their foreheads where touching. And Mikasa knew she was really red. Eren had his eyes closed and Mikasa didn't know what was happening. Erens breath was slow, but heavy and Mikasa felt her heart flutter as he got closer to her.

Eren didn't know what got into him. He was just sitting next to her and then he had grabbed Mikasas shoulder and now they were face to face. Eren felt her heat, he felt her breath and he felt things he never felt before, and he wanted to understand what they were. Mikasa had said that no one would come in their room, well the room they were being held in. The only thing holding Eren back were his doubts, he didn't know what these feelings were he didn't understand them, whatever he was feeling, he didn't know if Mikasa felt the same way, what if he ruined everything like he always does, he decided not to do anything and he slowly started to back away from Mikasa.

But Mikasa couldn't hold it anymore, she was so close to him, he was right there and she knew what he was going to do, she knew what he wanted and no one wanted it more than she did, so before she knew it she kissed him.

At first Eren didn't know what had happened and he was stiff but soon after all that stiffness went away as he felt those warm, gentle lips kiss his own. Mikasa kissed softly but Eren didn't want anything soft he wanted Mikasa he wanted to feel her and when he kissed her back it was with much force and wanting.

Mikasa was taken aback when Eren responded so hungrily. His lips moved with such force that Mikasa didn't know where he learned this. But she was soon dismissed of her though as his tongue slipped into her mouth. Their tongues played tag as to see who would gain dominance.

Mikasas legs began to shift towards him, but he soon picked up on what she was doing and just like before he picked her up with both his hands and placed her on his lap. Mikasa felt something hard in his pants and she gasped in his mouth, but Eren didn't let her break the kiss because with both his hands he made his way up her shirt, he touched her bare skin, and Mikasa couldn't help but moan in his mouth. His hands were so muscular but gentle Mikasa kept questioning how come he was so good at this. It had to be his first time even kissing a girl but yet he was to good for this to be his first time.

Eren than locked her body against his so tightly that he could feel every fiber of her on his chest, and he wanted her so badly he wanted to explode her, he wanted to be with her right here. but he knew it couldn't happen. He knew that if this happened it would both break his heart and hers because with him being a titan and both being in the scouting legion, people always die. And he knew even though Mikasa was strong and he was a titan they were both still human. And he knew that if he did what he wanted to do with Mikasa right now he would be a goner, he wants to tell Mikasa that he loves her that now he knows what his feeling. But he wouldn't dare tell Mikasa that.

As Mikasa kissed Eren and his hands were exploding her chest, he suddenly stopped. He gently broke apart the kiss. Mikasa still on his lap looked at him her eyes full of lust. And Eren hated himself for stopping it but he couldn't do this, it wouldn't be fair for Mikasa.

"I-I can't do this Mikasa...I'm sorry"

Mikasa was disappointed to hear this and a bit sad but deep down she knew that this was wrong. She knew why Eren had stopped it, and she knew that Eren didn't want to stop it because the way he was kissing her was to fierce for him ever consider to stop but she knew that if he stopped it, it only meant that it was serious. She figured it had to do with something about the scouting legion and him being a titan, Mikasa knows Eren to well and also they are only 15.

"I understand" Mikasa said slowly getting of Erens lap.

"Mikasa I just want you to know that I-" Eren couldn't say it he wouldn't say it, he couldn't say it. He knew that if he says the word and if something happens to her he would die along with her. It was selfish but he didn't want to say it until he knew they would be safe or rather she would be safe.

"I..just want you to know that if we get to see the outside word and get to live in peace and if this titan business is finally over I...I will wait for you, and I will protect you at any cost, I won't let anyone or anything hurt you, I promise"

Mikasa was shocked to hear Eren say these words, but she smiled at him and said

"that should be my line"

And they both sat cuddling, things got a bit heated between them not so long ago but it wasn't awkward at all. Its as if nothing had happened between them just now.

Maybe it was because they both knew what it means to be living in this world. That at any moment you could die.

At any moment, someone you love could vanish off this earth.

Mikasa stared at Eren.

_This was a cruel world after all but it was also a very beautiful world._

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_I hope you guys liked it sdkjbfjds tell me what you think, again i'm a noobie when it comes to writing lol. i just hope it was enjoyable for you guys :D_


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